This heart

I write this while listening to Adele's "Hiding my heart" . I'm not quite sure what I feel right now. All I know is there is something keeps bothering me. I think it's time for me to come clean. It's almost 8 month now and the memories keep haunting me. It makes me realize how hurtful love can be. 

     ........ "I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away" 

I wish I could let go of this feeling and bury the memories. I wish our love could have remained as effortless and as simple as that. I wish it would have been easy for us. It wasn't. It's not easy for me up untill today and I wish I could tell you this. But I'm not strong anymore to face you. As my heart couldn't take it, listening to your voice and reading our old text messages, my heart just couldn't take it anymore. I wrote this merely to express what I feel. Though I know you won't be reading this. I'm still trying to move on. Still, I take it that you are happy now with your life. I wish I could be happy with my life to just like you. And though, I am no longer the reason behind your smile, I still wish I am. But, it's fine for me. Seeing you smile is enough for me now. Knowing you happy makes me happy to. I hope you're doing fine there and remember me always.

So, I guess time will heal everything. I just have to keep moving. I think that's enough, of hiding my heart away. 

Last but not least

There's nothing I would do not for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature. 

Addicted

Running man was so cool! Daebak!  =)

Of sadness and tears

To me, the only thing which feels so real is this place. Where I can narrate my story and let go of my feelings My sadness. My happiness. A space for me to breath freely. A place where I can write everything about you without knowing if you've already moved on or not.

I wish you could understand my feelings. I wish you could see what I had to go through. I wish I could turn back time, but sadly, the only thing I can do now is just flashback our memories with tears. Before, I used to do it with a smile on my face. But, I realized it has already ended.It's over now between us and I'm still crying.

Take a break

I can't describe how stressful I am lately. And how addicted I am with Running Man. I knew I had a lot of caffeine for the past few days. It's unhealthy. Well. Both are just the same. The weather outside is perfectly for me to take a nap. I'm so tired with all these presentations, business plan as well as my future. Desperate for a vacation. Really am.

More time to think

The truth is I'm nervous. Nervous thinking about my future. Will I ever get the chance to fulfill my dreams? And the answer will always be "keep on trying".At times, I wish I can skip the reality and move to the world fantasy. Just be Alice in the Wonderland for a while  =)  . But I guess even Alice had to deal with difficult decisions. Well, I guess nothing is as it seems. Hurm.

It's time to let you go

I think it's time to let you go. And that's so hard to do because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life. But the daydreaming, the running in place, it's not healthy. So. this is me, cutting the cord. This is me, doing what I should have done months ago, saying GOODBYE.